HAND ME DOWN DREAMS(子从父业 - 家庭对职业规划的影响)

We all know that hand-me-downs are often comfortable and easy to put on, but we are rarely happy in something--a jacket or a job--that we didn't choose. If you feel trapped or disappointed in your current career or job, or if you let your family's wishes, rather than your own natural talents, interests, and passions, guide your ultimate career choice, you are living someone else's dream. These "hand-me-down dreams" influence every aspect of our lives, including our work and how we do it.

Mary H. Jacobsen received her M.S.W. from Boston University's Graduate School of Social Work. She maintains a private psychotherapy practice in Arlington, Massachusetts, and has presented workshops on Hand-Me-Down Dreams for the past eight years.

Book Description

This book explains how family expectations about careers and work are passed from generation to generation, revealing how these expectations affect roles, relationships, and values on the job and how readers can achieve their own personal goals and dreams. Reprint. 10,000 first printing.

From Publishers Weekly

In this clear-sighted and sympathetic primer on achieving career satisfaction, Jacobsen argues that all children are given straightforward and subtle messages by their families about career choices they should make as adults. In many cases, mothers and fathers influence children to fulfill the parents' thwarted dreams rather than encourage them to decide for themselves. A clinical social worker who has presented workshops on this subject for college students and management professionals for the past seven years, Jacobsen aims her message at young adults who are making initial career choices, older adults who are unhappy in their work and looking for a change, and retirees who now have an opportunity to try something more in harmony with their inner yearnings. Drawing on the tenets of family systems therapy, she believes that finding genuine career satisfaction entails understanding one's family history and the dynamics that may have resulted in a poor original career choice. To that end, she provides a series of exercises designed to identify family influences, as well as a chapter that specifically addresses the subject of abusive parents. Once these family influences become clear, Jacobsen recommends further exercises to assist in discovering one's true self and the best ways to express it through one's life work. Agent, Felicia Eth.

From Library Journal

How does family background affect an individuals career path and/or job performance? Jacobsen, a clinical social worker and workshop leader, examines this question, defining hand-me-down dreams as inherited dreams, goals, values and beliefs from our families. She presents her analysis in five parts: how these dreams are passed down in families; how family members are connected emotionally and as a system; family values regarding the purpose of work, the meaning of success, and the importance of money; a workbook and checklist for self-analysis; and strategies for the future. The appendixes include a bibliography and a guide to professional support and counseling. Helpful case studies are presented throughout, and various family issues and problems are discussed, including sibling rivalry, self-esteem, gender roles, and child abuse. This thoughtful and innovative study is recommended for college students and young professionals at both academic and public libraries.Lucy T. Heckman, St. Johns Univ. Lib., Jamaica, NY

Book Dimension
Height (mm) 203 Width (mm) 140

Acknowledgments
Introduction
How to Use This Book
Part One: Hand-Me-Down Dreams
　1. What Are Hand-Me-Down Dreams?
　2. The Cycle of Hand-Me-Down Dreams
　3. The Impact of Living Someone Else's Dream
Part Two: Family Dynamics
　4. What Is a Family System?
　5. Redefining Family Love and Loyalty: Breaking the Cycle
　6. When You Rebel Against or Cut Off Your Parents
　7. The Influence of Sibling Order and Gender
　8. Triangles: When Parents Choose "Special" Children
　9. Fitting In: How Class, Race, or Feeling Different Influence Career Dreams
　10. Abuse and Its Impact on Career or Job Choice
Part Three: Work, Success, and Money
　11. How Family Values Work For and Against Us
　12. Overcoming Beliefs That Block Change and Personal Success
　13. Exorcising Family Ghosts That Haunt the Worknlace
Part Four:. Living Your Own Dream: 7 Steps to Reclaim Your Career
　14. Step 1: Define Your Purpose in Exploring Family Influences
　15. Step 2: Explore Your Family's Work History
　16. Step 3: Evaluate Family Influences
　17. Step 4: Rediscover Your True Self
　18. Step 5: Name What You Want
　19. Step 6: Identify and Overcome Barriers to Change
　20. Step 7: Make Realistic Plans
Part Five: Looking Ahead
　21. Helping Your Children to Follow Their Dreams
　22. The Future
Appendix 1: How and When to Seek Professional Support
Appendix 2: Recommended Reading
Index